Credit/Debit card etiquette

How hard is it to use a credit card? Why do so many people not know how to decide between debit and credit?

When you're checking out and the clerk at the register asks if you want "credit or debit," it shouldn't be too hard to decide on which. Really, people, there's only two choices in this instance. How can you not know? If it's debit, you might want to actually know what your pin number is. Looking around in confusion and asking the person behind you about your pin number is ridiculous. I'm not an identity thief, why would I know what your pin number is? There are times I wished I knew, so I could empty out their account. People guilty of stupidity in public deserve to lose money.

Standing in line gives you plenty of time to decide how your going to pay. "I'll use credit, no wait, debit, wait, will my bank fine me?" is a response that happens far too frequently. I wish I could fine you for not knowing how to use a card.

Some people need to just carry cash. But then again some people can't count.

Sleep evades me

Running short on sleep, I took some OTC sleep-aids to assist me…2.5 hours ago!! I’m still not sleepy. They should have taken effect by now.

I’m sitting and daydreaming about a reality that lives only in my own mind. This is what I do when I cannot sleep - I envision and create a world where we can live that works the way I want it to. There's no political bullshit, no cops, no bad guys, and no government officials who tell us how to live our lives. One day, I'll get these worlds written down so the characters that live in my head can be free to entertain other people.

Maybe if our children were raised to waste time in this manner, it would save them from the rubber room existence that we are building for them. Take them fishing, hunting, or hiking for Gods sake. Allow them to embrace their creativity and grow as an individual. Do not confine them to an existence of video games, boredom, and mind-numbing activities.

In my imaginary world, doors don't need to locked because crime doesn't exist. Rather then wielding a gun to perform a crime, a person wields a gun to shoot a buck for dinner. Common respect runs abound and silence is not broken by the screaming of a misbehaved child. No, in my world, people are characters that live life to it's fullest potential.

It annoys me that people are sheep and blindly follow the path that is created for them by an unseen "they." Corruption runs deep in the pockets of man. People today live to work, live in a daily routine that is set for them, live in an erroneous fog that blinds them to the potential of what life is meant to be.

We forget to live until it's too late to change. When faced with our expiration date, we suddenly wish for things that we were too busy to do when we could have. Why do we wait until then? We know our day is coming, so why wait until it's pressing down on us and cutting off our air supply? I cannot count how many times my friends have spoken of a bucket list - a list of things to do before they die. Why wait, my friends? Go out and do what you desire while you are healthy enough to enjoy them. That's what life is, people!

I just yawned, which is a good sign. With that, I bid you goodnight.

I will not conform

We all grow up with preconceived notions about life and love. We are taught to conform when our ideals don't match our realities. But why must we change our ideals to match our reality rather than change our reality to match our ideals?

Conformity surrounds us. Peer pressure, gangs, cults, organizations, even family members ask us to change ourselves to fit into a mold. I will not. It is my right not to. It is my right to be who I want to be. I'm not crazy...I'm just not you!

When our preconceived notions get trampled and the realities set in, we learn that not every damsel has a prince; not every cloud has a silver lining; not every closed door opens a window; and not every piece of coal becomes a diamond. What we do with those realities is what makes us become who we are. Some conform to meet the demands society puts on them. Others stand strong and remain firm in their beliefs. Others still are firm in their standings yet sway just enough to fit in with their surroundings-afraid to stand out yet not meek enough to hide. Who are you?

Who am I? I'm the one in front telling society to look for conformity somewhere else. Sometimes alone, sometimes with others, but never too scared to remain firm in my beliefs. I don't need to fit in everywhere and I don't need everyone to be my friend. You can keep the diamonds...I'm happy with my coal.

Glow-In-The-Dark Ponderings

Do you ever wonder what makes glow-in-the-dark stuff glow? Why is there such a limited supply of things that glow? First off, does it ever not glow? I mean maybe the glowing never stops, even when the lights are on.

Speaking of things that glow, there should be more of them. Glow-in-the-dark paper, undies, bras, pool cues, fishing line...really, how cool would that be to have a fishing pole with glow-in-the-dark line...even picture frames would be neat. Imagine having a book that you can actually read in the dark. Black paper, glowing words...it would be like invisible ink. Imagine how great it would be to have invisible ink for a journal or diary. Better yet, how about glow-in-the-dark food? Now that would be interesting. Glowing silverware and plates...there's an investment in itself.

How do I get here?

How does it get to this point? The point in which your emotional threshold is lifted to a limit where it can no longer be reached. Have you ever been there or I am alone? Sociopathic tendencies, almost…possibly borderline at moments like this. The desire of an adrenaline rush is the only thing felt.  The wind through my hair…pulse racing in my veins…heart pounding against my chest…and finally…I can inhale. I can breathe again. I can feel what I was unable to feel before.

Ones' Strength

Ones strength is not shown by merely surviving life, but rather through the act of living. Tear the binds that hold you down, release the chains attached to your ankles and run naked down the street with your head held high. Be free and create your own destiny...only then can you live. That is what strength is.

I am...

I’m more like you than I thought. I didn’t want to be and I hid it from myself for so very long. It sneaks up on me from time to time, but now it’s more prominent than before. It rears its’ head and roars my name. Wails and screams follow throughout my soul as the fight continues. Bloodshed is craved, although it never gets to that point. I retain some control, some form of it anyways, no matter how small. I hoped for the chance that it wouldn’t happen, that it wouldn’t be a part of me, but here I am…seeing these traits of you…in me.

Do you ever worry...

Do you ever worry about the fact that you aren't more worried about things? Something tragic hits your life and as you look around you see people upset and crying - you, however, are not. You sit there sullen and sad, yet no tears come. No heartache fills you. No grief overtakes you.

That's me. The one who doesn't seem to feel...the one who doesn't act like she cares. I DO care...but I don't know how to show that part of me. I've spent too much time hiding it...too much energy burying it. Pushing it down and stomping it into a tight little wad to be ignored.


I figure the day will come when it can no longer be tamped down. It will reach a bursting capacity and what will happen then? Will I explode and divide into dozens of broken pieces? Will I be strong enough to jump over the hurdle of emotion that will one day drown me? 

I Looked for You

I looked for you...I always look for you. With each catch, each throw, each play, I look into the crowd trying to catch your gaze. I know you will not be there but I look anyways hoping to see your face hidden amongst the other supporters. You used to be there every time as it was our thing even when we did not have many. Now that we have so few I still believe this is our sport, our thing, our connection to a heartbeat that we so rarely share. I stand on the field scanning, imagining the look of pride I will see when I meet your eyes and even when you are not there, I still pretend. I imagine that you are watching from a place I cannot see and cheering with a clap I cannot hear. I remember the smile you would have when the ball would land in my glove, the spark of pride with each great play...the memories always make me play harder.

I feel like I am sixteen again, waiting for you to arrive. You were my teacher, my manager, my coach, and one of my biggest fans. You were my hero and my supporter. I still picture you - ball cap, blue jeans, t-shirt - smiling at me from the sidelines. I still hear the whispered pride as you brag about "your little girl." I still feel the strong arm as it rests on my shoulders, congratulating me on a job well done. I am an adult, yet I still long for your support, I still ache for your presence, and I am still disappointed when I do not see you in the crowd.

Maybe next game when I look for you, as I always do, you will be there. You are, after all, my dad and this is, after all, our thing.

Embrace Change

Perfection is an illusion. There's simply no such thing. The closest we have is turning an imperfect situation into one that works for us. Perfection is often sought in relationships...we all look for that "perfect" person to share our life with. The problem that most people don't realize is that what they consider perfect one day may not be the same thing on another day. People change every single day. Situations change you. Environments change you. Life changes you.

This fact gets overlooked so often. If these changes aren't accounted for, the day will come when your loved one starts comparing the way you are to the way you "used to be." No matter what, you can never compete with who you used to be. You can never go back to that person you were before life changed you. The options from this point are limited. Your loved one either cares enough for you to accept you as you are currently, or they can't and long for who you were. If you are not accepted as you are then the relationship eventually fizzles and succumbs to the fact that all things eventually end. A tragedy in the making, for sure.

We can't prevent change so instead, let's learn how to embrace it.