No good comes from UNKNOWN callers

I subscribe to Field & Stream magazine. I have for quite awhile now. I enjoy the magazine. A lot. I hunt, I fish, and I enjoy reading about it. This magazine boasts lots of good information.

Recently I had a phone call that made the caller ID show UNKNOWN. Generally, I don't answer these calls, letting them go to voicemail for me to screen and call back if I so choose to do so. For some reason, on this day, I picked it up it anyway - not my traditional modus operandi. I don't know what got into me - don't know what made my brain scream to answer it.

"Hello?" I said quizzically.

A polite man's voice responded, "Hi, is Mr. or Mrs. yet-another-butchered-attempt-at-my-last-name available?"

Already regretting my decision to answer the phone, I automatically claimed "No, sorry." I should know better - nothing good ever comes from 99.9% of UNKNOWN calls. I briefly considered just hanging up but like an idiot I blurted "Can I take a message?" Here I'm thinking I better be sure it's nothing important since I already went the mile to answer the stupid call.

"This is John from Field & Stream magazine and I would really like to speak to the man of the house, please. Do you happen to know when he will be available?"

My jaw dropped and my my brain went fuzzy. Really?!? Wouldn't a glance at his list show that it is MY name on the magazine subscription? I was momentarily speechless. Then I recovered.

"Seriously? The man of the house? It's 2011 and the name on the magazine label is obviously female. It's not the '50s dude, don't assume and don't call back." Of course, I said this in the kindest and softest voice possible, with no trace of sarcasm and with patience just oozing out.

I'm reminded that there IS a reason I don't answer UNKNOWN calls. My impulse control really needs some adjustment.