A Ramble Without A Ramble...What?!?

Yup, that's right. I'm so exhausted today that my thoughts are fairly free-flowing and I'm not certain I can actually harness them enough to form complete sentences, much less complete thoughts. I know, I know…shocking, right?

The wonders of exhaustion never cease to amaze me. You get that same "I don't give a sh*t" attitude that you get when you drink too much, but without the fun. What's up with that, I ask you? Not fair. Nope, not fair at all.

So I was reading this article online about flying carp fishing. Now I've seen those videos a hundred times like we all have, I'm sure. Some fools getting themselves in a wad to try and catch "flying" carp from a boat. Mind you, I think it sounds like a great time so who am I to scoff at their antics as they duck to avoid a broken nose? What makes me mention this is that this morning, as I was using toothpicks to hold my eyelids open during my drive to work, I had a thought. Yup, just one. Believe me, that's all I can handle right now. Anyways, I was considering how my luck would play into it if I actually got the opportunity to catch flying fish. I believe it would probably go something like this:

H (this is me): Wow this is awesome.
F (The fool that went with me): Yeah, it is, now sit down.
H: But I wanna see them.
F: What part of flying did you miss? You will see them as soon as we get over there.
This is where I would deeply sigh and sit down with my arms crossed as the driver scoffs at my impatience. But I sit. Tapping my foot. Sighing impatiently. Looking everywhere but in front of me. Then I see something and stand up.
H: Is that one?
F: Is what one?
H: That. Right there.
F (with a raised brow): the turtle? The turtle is not one. Sit down.
Properly chastised and a bit butt-hurt, I sit. impatiently. Sighing. Then it happens. There we are. There are fish jumping out of the water. Real fish. Not turtles. I stand up despite the drivers protest. Flying fish.
H: This is so bada$$.
F: Be careful.
H (Looking at F quizzically): Careful? What do you mean be careful? They are fish.
Then it happens. A fish jumps at my face. I see it in my peripheral vision because I wasn't *ahem* paying attention. I duck. It misses me. Triumph! Then I feel this slimy cold something hit my face and I jerk sideways. Slipping. Losing my footing. Mentally screaming a profanity, I feel myself begin to fall. Off the boat. Into the water. With giant fish. That jump. And who knows what else is lurking in that flying fish breeding water. I'm no longer having fun.