Dreamin' while awake

To say I’m tired these days is an understatement. I think I average about 4 hours of sleep a night, if I’m lucky. There are days I drive to the office in a daze...literally not remembering how I even got there once I find I’ve arrived. It’s not really the safest way to make a 2-hour commute, but apparently I’m pretty damn good at it. My creativity is lost when I’m suffering from exhaustion. I find motivation to be just out of reach, at best. This frustrates me because I’m a very creative person as many people can attest to, so when I lack that I get irritable and a bit down. Gone are the hours I usually spend writing poetry, doing projects, or working on my book. The thoughts and ideas are there, they just don’t blossom into coherence.

With that in mind, let me reflect on how my mind does work while battling exhaustion. It happens at the most inopportune time - while I’m lying in bed waiting for the sleep fairy to take me to dream land. Now remember that my imagination runs wild as past posts have relayed. While I’m lying there, my mind will begin to race. Now I’m not talking like a foot race...no no...I’m talking like a 250-mph speed boat race. On an average night, my fiance constantly jokes that I dream while I’m awake in bed. I will be fully awake - can talk, hear, feel - yet my mind will be in another very vivid world. Similar to daydreaming yet more so. She often laughs at me because I will be so caught up in my mind that I’ll start telling her about what I’m seeing or experiencing. It really is like dreaming while wide awake. I’ve no idea how this happens. I know I’m lying there with my eyes closed, praying that the sleep fairy will visit and I will feel my body relax then there goes my mind - busting out of the gates as if a pistol went off. Okay, so check this: the other night I “dreamt” that we were driving down the road when a blue car passed by me. When I glanced at the car I saw it had a blue Ford Mustang body but instead of wheels, it had 4 long legs that were galloping at a high rate of speed. I laughed out loud and when my fiance asked me what was so funny I shared the info and told her that it must be the new 2016 Mustang model. She patted my head and said my brain needs studied when I die. I don’t necessarily disagree. I digress. My point was simply that all the creativity I have no motivation to follow through with due to exhaustion somehow invades my mind when I’m trying so hard to sleep. It’s quite counterproductive, I must say. 

Let it be noted that my imagination has cooked up some pretty wild inventions. If I was actually inventive enough to invent my imagined inventions, I’d be a fairly successful member of society.

It’s about time to make another 2-hour commute so until next time, my friends. Ciao.