I'm a butthole yet people love me anyways

I am capable of being a total and complete butthole at times. That’s putting it nicely, for the sake of you readers out there, but I can assure you that I can be the epitome of every a**hole definition you can come up with. It’s both a gift and a curse. There have been times it has served me well, but mostly not so much.

I am also a professional instigator...to myself. Seriously. I can totally egg myself on. It’s like my conscience, or superego, steps outside of my body to watch my id and ego battle it out.

Superego: “I wouldn’t say that if I were you.”
Id: “Say it. You feel it so say it.”
Superego: “If you say it, it will piss her off and the argument will get heated.”
Id: “Do it. Do it. Do it. I dare you.”

Then there’s my ego who is trying to weigh out the pros and cons before opening my mouth. Sounds rational, right? Here’s the thing - when I’m tired, my id wins...always. My Id sets the dare into motion and if I don’t comply right away, a double dog dare is sure to follow at which point my mouth opens and out spews whatever idiotic thing it may be. That’s when my superego just shakes her head and smacks her forehead while muttering “I told you so.” You would almost think, I’d pay my superego a bit more heed since more often than not, she’s right, but no. Sometimes, I prefer the more challenging road filled with chaos, idiocy, and facepalms. What can I say, I’m an adventurer. Ha, yeah...let’s go with that.