My marriage is not a lesser marriage

I have had this rant building inside of me for months and it has reached a point where it must be purged. For those who don't know - on February 8, 2013, I got married to the most wonderful woman I have ever met. She is my inspiration and my best friend. That's just the type of person all of our hearts yearn for, isn't it? I have a set of friends and family members who are extremely accepting, supportive, and loving. This post is not about them (y'all know who ya are). 

Our wedding took place in a state where it was legal. Because it was out of state, no invitations were sent out. It was just a judge, us, two witnesses, and one great friend. When we returned home and got settled, we proudly spent time and money to create and send out wedding announcements to just about every family member and friend we knew. Doesn't every newlywed do that? As mentioned in the beginning, we have some very supportive friends and family members who were happy for us and were congratulatory (again, this isn't about them), whereas the majority of my family members have remained quiet. Not a whisper in my direction. Mind you, I wasn't expecting approval or even a congratulatory response, just a noncommittal reply that the announcement was received would have worked. Neither positive or negative. Understand that I am not seeking validation for myself or for my marriage. It is nice, however, to know if something you spent a lot of time and money on was at least received. Perhaps I am of the minority, but I don't think that is asking too much - especially from family.

It saddens me that this group of people I am tied to by blood are those same people I feel the most uncomfortable around. The sense of not belonging is difficult to process at times. These are not distant relatives - but cousins, aunts, uncles, siblings, grandparents, and even a parent. These are people I was close to growing up, people I see several times a year.

Now here's something funny. Since the wedding announcements went out to this "silent familial group," I have received from them invitations to a bridal shower, a baby shower, and a wedding. It makes me scratch my head in amazement that my marriage merits not a sound yet I am expected to celebrate their life events. Does this reflect the belief that mine is lesser in their eyes? That because I married a woman instead of a man mine is not equal? Not as important? Not even worth an acknowledgment? Sometimes silence is louder than words, isn't it?

In the midst of this frustration and disappointment, I do realize how lucky I am. I am very appreciative of the support we have been given. Especially by my mom - who has certainly been a rock in a sea of confusion. I am not angry at the silent familial group, but I am disappointed that they cannot acknowledge that I married my best friend. Isn't that what everyone wants?